Accepting Failure

Today’s society and popular culture place substantial emphasis on “success.” There is a spotlight on successful people, and we are taught that we must strive to achieve success as a part of the American Dream.

This use of success typically denotes the monetary variety and focuses on the model of consumerism. 

To be successful in this sense is to be revered by society, to gain status through seeking the acceptance of society.

Sometimes this external success does not equate to internal satisfaction. What is the use of being accepted by others if you do not accept yourself?

One of the hardest lessons for me has been on accepting failure. From a young age I have been conditioned to seek success in the eyes of my family, friends, and society.

The definition of success is so loose that I was left to imagine what it should be, how I should achieve it, and how I will measure it. Of course I defaulted to the pursuit of monetary success at first.

Now I understand that no matter how much money I could acquire, if I do not live life for myself, I will never truly live.

This means following my own path, not the path I think others would like me to. It also means fully accepting myself and all the perceived failure I have experienced.

It is easy to let the mind dwell on failure, to ruminate on what could have been done differently. This way of thinking distracts from the purpose of the experience: to learn.

Failure is great education; it has the potential to teach us about ourselves, affords us the opportunity to reflect on its origins, and gives us the opportunity to let go of it.

All that is required is total acceptance of what happened, it was merely a stepping stone which brought you right here, right now.

When you experience failure, accept that it happened and learn how it happened.

Do not dwell on it, find the lesson and apply it right now. What we perceive as failure is really just an intense lesson, a slap in the face to make us conscious of our thought and behavior.

No one played your part for you. You are not the victim here. You are the benefactor of knowledge.  

Open your mind to the truth behind the experience, let go of the mental labels which obscure your vision.

What is done is done, accept it and move on. You can fail every day and be successful if you accept and learn from the experience.

by Ben Fairbrother